You know you’re capable of a lot.
It's past time your life felt like yours again.
Burnout recovery and capacity support for late-diagnosed and self-diagnosed AuDHD women who are ready to stop living in survival mode and start supporting themselves in ways that actually fit how they’re wired.
No masking your way through it and no disciplining yourself out of dysregulation.
So why does everything feel so hard right now?
You’ve spent most of your life aiming high, doing well, and figuring things out. Maybe you are even the straight-A student and the conscientious "reliable one." You know how to work hard, get things done, and manage everyone else’s expectations.
And you did that for a long time. Decades, probably.
You've always known you were different, or "more sensitive," but it feels like something changed and it has made you feel less capable.
Maybe it was a diagnosis: ADHD, autism, or both. Maybe you realized what you’d been calling anxiety, perfectionism, or “just being bad at life” had a lot more going on underneath. Maybe you hit burnout and have been trying to recover ever since.
You know you’re still capable on certain days, but you can’t reliably access that capability anymore. You might even know what would help. But knowing and doing just aren’t the same thing.
One day you get a ton done. The next, making food or answering a text feels impossible.
And it’s easy to decide you’re fundamentally broken or that you’ll always be "behind."
What if you could learn to work with the capacity you actually have, and practice self compassion for who you truly are without the mask? You don’t need another routine or system that assumes you’ll have the same energy every day. You DO need:
- A way to notice what’s happening before you’ve completely hit the wall.
- A way to figure out what’s making something harder right now.
- A way to make things more doable without rebuilding your entire life every time your energy changes.
Good news: there is a way. And it starts small shifts you can come back to again and again, and support that changes as you do.
“When I go into the red, I literally have barely any energy at all [...] this is helping.”Laura, Northumberland, UK
Imagine what it would feel like when…
- You notice you’re overloaded at 2pm and adjust, instead of crashing at 9pm.
- Cooking feels impossible and you still eat something that nourishes you, without the guilt.
- Your brain says “try harder” and you recognize you actually need less stimulation.
- You finally have a good energy day and you stop before you’ve spent everything.
- You overdo it anyway and come back the next week without starting your whole life over.
Heck, neurotypical people don't even have that.
You just need a life that’s more workable, one small shift at a time.
The biggest change isn’t more energy. It’s how you see yourself.
“I’m fundamentally broken and always behind.”
“I actually understand myself, and I can support myself in ways that work with my needs and my neurodivergence.”
Small, doable shifts are the gentlest and most sustainable way to rebuild your energy and stop burning out, without asking you to become someone you’re not.
Hi, I’m Abbey.
I help late-diagnosed AuDHD women understand their capacity and learn how to support themselves when that capacity changes.
I built SSBE because I needed it too.
I was diagnosed with AuDHD at age 29, after years of thinking I just needed to try harder, be more disciplined, get more organized, or figure out the right routine.
For a long time, that actually seemed to work. I was a good student. I worked hard. I built a career. I became a paralegal to immigration attorneys, and a personal trainer and nutrition coach because I genuinely loved helping people take care of themselves.
From the outside, I looked like someone who had it together.
Read more about my story ↓
Then I burned out.
In 2023, I was working my paralegal job while running my personal training business on the side, and I was still doing everything I could to look like I was okay.
I wasn’t.
I was exhausted. I was struggling to keep up with things I knew how to do. And the things that had once felt manageable suddenly required so much more from me.
One moment in particular made it impossible to keep pretending everything was fine.
I was on vacation and wedding dress shopping with my mom when an unbelievably rude email from my boss made me completely fall apart in what should have been a really good moment.
I couldn’t leave my paralegal job because I still needed the income from that. So that December, I stepped away from the coaching business I had worked so hard to build.
It was the first time in my adult life that I chose my actual capacity over performing “okay-ness.”
And once I had some space, I started paying attention to what was actually happening.
What added to my load.
What made things harder.
What helped.
What I kept doing right before a crash or shutdown.
I started researching AuDHD, burnout, masking, capacity, regulation, and all of the things I was experiencing but didn’t have language for yet.
My background includes degrees in cultural anthropology and psychology, plus certifications in wellness coaching, nutrition, and personal training.
But the framework behind SSBE didn’t come from one certification or one book.
It came from putting all of that together with my own experience, a lot of anthropological research, and the patterns I kept seeing in other AuDHD women.
Again and again, I saw women who were incredibly capable, who often knew exactly what they “should” be doing, but couldn’t reliably access those skills anymore.
Women who were tired of being told to try harder.
Women who were tired of rebuilding the same routines after every crash.
Women who didn’t need another person telling them what they already knew.
They needed somewhere to turn when their capacity changed or when they felt lost and confused.
That’s what I wanted too.
Something I could use on the days when I had almost nothing left.
Something I could come back to after disappearing for a while.
Something that helped me figure out what I actually needed instead of handing me another routine to keep up with.
So I built it.
And that’s how Small Shifts, Big Energy came to exist.
Small Shifts, Big Energy
The first map that doesn’t ask you to contort, mask, grind, or “discipline” your way out of dysregulation.
Small Shifts, Big Energy (SSBE) is a month-to-month membership and a place to come back to when you need help understanding what’s happening with your capacity and what might help.
It’s not a course to finish, a productivity system, or another pile of information to consume while you’re already exhausted. It’s ongoing support built around the reality that your capacity, your life, and what helps you are changing.
The Small Shifts Cycle
At the center of SSBE is a repeating framework for figuring out what you need as your capacity changes.
Notice
What’s happening with me right now?
Your capacity, early signs of overload, what’s changed, and what you’re carrying.
→Lower the Load
What can I reduce, remove, or change?
Stimulation, demands, decisions, transitions, and unnecessary output.
→Restore the System
What would actually help me recover?
Rest, regulation, nourishment, and movement.
→Protect + Pace
How do I keep from spending everything I have?
Boundaries, limits, and a pace that doesn’t immediately spend what you’ve rebuilt.
The cycle repeats because your needs repeat. Move through it in any order, and never start over when your needs change.
The cycle keeps coming back to you so you don’t have to.
What can you actually work on inside SSBE?
Inside the library, the Cycle becomes eight specific sub-areas. You start wherever you need to. There’s no order and nothing to “finish.”
Stimulation
When your environment asks more of your nervous system than you have.
Notice what’s draining you and adjust your surroundings so things feel easier.
Transitions
Sometimes the task isn’t the hard part. Getting from one thing to the next is.
Make transitions easier, with fewer decisions and more space between contexts.
Rest
Not just “go rest.” Actual rest.
Learn what real rest looks like for you, why your body might resist it, and how to make room for it.
Regulation
When you’re too activated, shut down, or disconnected to just “calm down.”
Understand your patterns, use micro-regulation, and build your own regulation menu.
Nutrition
Knowing what you “should” eat doesn’t help when executive function is low.
Make meals easier, rebuild hunger cues, and nourish yourself without turning food into a moral test.
Movement
Movement doesn’t have to mean exercise.
Use movement as regulation, find what feels good for your nervous system, and redefine consistency.
Boundaries
Protecting your capacity before it’s already spent.
Use smaller, more manageable boundaries and navigate social energy without waiting until you’re depleted.
Pacing
When energy finally comes back, you try to make up for lost time.
Find a gentler pace, notice your real stopping point, and come back after overdoing it without calling it failure.
“Had a bit of a revelation when you talked about the invisible load, and the section you just added about it helped lots too! I think that’s my biggest problem. Even when I’m physically resting, my brain and nervous system are still carrying so much and rarely resting and truly relaxing. And then I feel the mental frustration growing because I don’t feel relaxed, which dials up my nervous system even more! Definitely something for me to be more aware of in future.”Laura, SSBE founding member
Here’s how the support works.
Each part of SSBE is there for a different situation. Use one, some, or all of them, depending on the week.
When you have room to explore small changes
The Weekly Small Shift Email.
Each week you'll get one small shift that guides you through the cycle, one phase at a time, in written and audio format. Arrives in an easy-to-recognize email. Use it, save it, or skip it.
When you have almost no capacity
Low-Capacity Support.
You go to the Library and start with just one question: What feels like too much right now? Then you'll be led to choose a quick tool for what feels the closest to your experience: overload, stimulation, rest, nourishment, regulation, boundaries, pacing, etc., and make small adjustments in the moment.
When you want to go deeper
The Resource Library.
Spend more time with the patterns that keep showing up in your life, across all areas. Every lesson comes with written and audio formats, so you can read or listen depending on your brain that day. There's no "order" and nothing to finish. This is a growing library.
When you want another perspective
Mentorship / Ask Abbey.
For when you’re tired of thinking it through yourself. Talk through what’s happening and figure out what might make it more doable.
When you don’t want to do it alone
The private community.
Ask questions and get perspective from people who already understand the context. Or lurk and read quietly.
Once a month, we meet live
The monthly live session.
Teaching, questions, discussion, and support. Every session is recorded if you can’t make it live.
Use what fits & leave the rest.
You might spend a month on rest. Realize stimulation is the bigger issue. Need nutrition support for a while, then not think about it for months. Or disappear because life is happening.
Then you come back when you need it.
Think of it like learning to drive in a roundabout.
The first time through, you won’t know every exit. You might miss one, end up in the wrong lane, or need go around again.
That doesn’t send you back to the beginning of your trip, or mean that you've failed. It means you’re learning the roundabout.
That’s why SSBE is a membership. It’s not eight weeks of information. It’s an ongoing place to return to, with support that shifts as your capacity does.
Where Do I Start? A Live Walkthrough
When you join during this launch, you’ll get access to the October 18th live session called Where Do I Start? It walks you through:
- where to go inside SSBE
- how the different types of support fit together
- how to use the Small Shifts Cycle
- how to choose where to start based on your actual capacity
It’s recorded, so you don’t have to attend live.
You'll also be able to join or rewatch the upcoming October 26th live monthly session all about noticing what you need after late diagnosis.
Here's what it looks like to join
Small Shifts, Big Energy
This is the first time SSBE has been a month-to-month membership.
Join by October 11 and $50/month is yours to keep for as long as you stay, even if the price changes later.
Month to month. Cancel anytime.
No eight-week, six-month, or annual commitment.
Inside the membership, you get:
Support you can use on good days and hard days.
- the Small Shifts Cycle framework
- weekly Small Shift emails
- written and audio support
- low-capacity support
- the Resource Library, with written & audio lessons
- private community support
- mentorship / ask Abbey
- monthly live sessions with recordings
During this membership launch
Join before October 11th at 11:59 p.m. (EST) and you’re grandfathered in at $50/month for as long as you remain a member.
No pressure to stay
Give it a month. If it isn’t helping, cancel. No penalty.
Who SSBE is for
SSBE is probably right for you if:
- You know you’re capable, but your capacity has become unpredictable.
- You understand yourself well but still don’t know what to do when your energy changes.
- You’ve spent years overriding your limits and you’re feeling the cost.
- You’re tired of blaming yourself for inconsistency you don’t fully understand.
- You want practical support without another rigid program to keep up with.
- You want one steady place to turn when your capacity drops, instead of feeling lost or scrambling for a new fix every time.
This probably isn’t for you if:
- You want a rigid plan that guarantees a permanent level of energy.
- You want someone to tell you exactly what to do every day.
- You want productivity strategies to push through no matter how you feel.
- You want to consume as much information as possible, as fast as possible.
SSBE isn’t designed to be everything for everyone.
FAQ
What if I don’t have any capacity to use the membership?
That’s exactly why the Low-Capacity Support exists.
You don’t have to read the whole library, catch up, complete a program, or show up every week. You can use one thing. You can use nothing for a while. You can come back when you need it.
The support is there for you rather than it being another thing to keep up with or spend a lot of capacity on.
What if I don’t know what I need yet?
That’s okay. You don’t have to figure that out first.
The Small Shifts cycle gives you somewhere to look. The weekly Small Shift email gives you somewhere to start every week so you don't have to think about it. The Low-Capacity Support gives you somewhere to go when thinking is hard. And the community, mentorship, and monthly live give you people to figure it out with.
Finding out what you use most is part of the process; it's a good thing.
How much time does SSBE take?
There’s no homework schedule or anything akin to that.
Some weeks you might spend a little time with the Small Shift in the email. Some weeks you might use one low-capacity tool or go deeper into the library. Some weeks you might barely open it or lurk in the community/mentorship space.
The point isn’t to add another obligation but instead to give you somewhere to return when you need support.
Is $50/month worth it if I’m not sure I’ll use it?
It’s a fair question, especially if you’ve paid for things before that ended up sitting untouched.
To answer this question, I'd think about what a crash usually costs you. The lost days. The constant takeout when cooking felt impossible. The planners, apps, and programs you bought hoping this would be the one that finally stuck.
SSBE is built to be useful even in a month where you only use one thing. The point is that the support is there, in your back pocket when and if. you need it. And because it’s month to month, you’re never stuck. If it isn’t helping at all, you can cancel. But keep in mind, this kind of recovery is not just a one month ordeal.
If you join during this membership launch, you also keep the $50/month rate. You won't be subject to any price increases while you remain a member.
How is this different from every other burnout or ADHD program I’ve tried?
Many programs and other traditional frameworks assume you’ll have the same amount of energy every day. They’re built around consistency, discipline, and more information, so they work on your good weeks and become one more thing you’re “failing” at on your bad ones. SSBE is also intentionally NOT a linear program that you start and finish. It is a cyclical program, which is ones of it's primary strengths, because you are exposed to the same kind of recovery areas multiple times, so that you can develop what actually works for you over time in a more sustainable way.
You’re not new to personal development. You don’t need more motivation or another toolkit. What usually hasn’t been addressed are the invisible reasons you keep collapsing, freezing, and losing capacity.
SSBE starts with the capacity you have right now. It’s created for your worst days in mind, not just your best ones like most programs tend to assume. And when you crash, you come back to the cycle instead of starting over.
What if I’ve bought things before and never used them?
I promise you’re not going to get a gold star for consuming SSBE, and you don’t have to prove you’re "finally going to be consistent."
You can read the weekly email and do nothing else. You can use one tool on a hard day. You can disappear for three weeks. Then come back. It doesn't matter as long as you eventually come back at some point... days, weeks, months, whatever!
The membership is designed around the reality that your availability to focus on this will change.
What if I crash again?
You probably will. Because you’re a human living an actual life and are still deep in that learning and applying phase after late diagnosis. SSBE helps these crashes become less, and fewer and further in between, and helps you see them coming more quickly so you can act in small ways that help.
This is a huge part of why the cycle repeats. You’re not learning how to never need support again. You’re learning how to notice what’s happening and respond differently when your capacity changes. You're learning to identify the type of support you need and when.
Do I have to be active in the community?
No. You can participate, ask questions, or read quietly. You can disappear for a while and come back.
There’s no requirement to perform participation in order to belong here.
Is SSBE therapy?
No. SSBE is educational and mentorship-based support.
It is not therapy, medical treatment, or a replacement for individualized medical or mental-health care.
What happens after I join?
Click any Join button on this page. Once checkout is done, you’re officially inside.
Check your inbox.
You’ll receive your welcome email and login details for the Library and Community.
Start with Start Here.
You don’t need to explore everything. Start there and just slowly get acquainted with the app/platform.
Your first Small Shift email arrives.
Your first Small Shift email will arrive 7 days after enrollment.
That’s it. No prep & nothing to catch up on. It just comes to you!
If this sounds like you...
By now, you know the difference between survival mode and a life that feels like your own isn’t more discipline, more motivation, or another "toolkit" you'll never use.
It comes down to understanding your capacity and learning how to support it.
- If you’re a late-diagnosed AuDHD woman who keeps collapsing, freezing, or losing capacity without fully understanding why, SSBE is for you.
- If you’re no longer willing to mask, grind, or discipline your way through dysregulation, SSBE is for you.
- If you’re tired of advice that assumes you’ll have the same energy every day, SSBE is for you.
- If you want to rebuild your energy without starting your whole life over every time you crash, SSBE is for you.
- If you value your energy, your body, and your actual life, and you refuse to keep paying for productivity with burnout, SSBE is for you.
Start with the month you’re in.
You don’t need to decide what your future self will need. Just whether this kind of support would help the version of you who’s here now.
Start with treating changes in your capacity as information you can notice, respond to, and work with.
That’s what Small Shifts, Big Energy is here for.
Start this month, use what helps, come back as needed
