You know why you're burnt out...

Here's what to do about it.

A flexible, guided space for late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed AuDHD women who are so done with burning out

I want in, please

You've been running on empty for so long you forgot what full feels like.

Burnout probably isn't a major surprise to you. It's the inevitable result of spending years, sometimes decades, masking, overriding, and pushing past limits you (sometimes) didn't even know you had.

You were not failing to cope. You have actually been coping constantly. Burnout is just what that costs, eventually. 

You've watched the same advice work for people around you and wondered what's fundamentally different about you. Because you spent the whole weekend resting, genuinely trying, and you still have no energy.

Somehow, you're still exhausted in a way that goes way beyond not sleeping enough or working too hard. Every decision and every effort is a tax on a body that just doesn't have it. 

You have read the books, tried the routines, and done the therapy. If we're being honest, you understand yourself better than most people ever will. You're not missing information, but you are missing a map that was created for how your neurodivergence works.

The longer you push through it, the harder it gets to feel the difference between "I'm just tired" and "I'm in crisis."

Your body has been in 'survival mode' for so long that dysregulation starts to feel like your baseline. You stopped trusting your own energy because you know what you need to do and your body just won't. And the harder you push the worse it gets.

You've probably been doing life through adrenaline, urgency, stress, and constant stimulation to get through things. So, when your body is finally forced to slow down, it feels strange, and almost like you don't know what a quieter nervous system is supposed to feel like. 

The tools and routines you've been trying were not built for the neurodivergent burnout experience.

And for some of them, it's not even that they don't work for us, it's that you're trying to use them before your nervous system has enough capacity to receive them.

Years of overriding and masking taught your nervous system to treat almost everything like a potential threat, so now it braces for threat before you've even consciously registered what's happening. This is a body that's forgotten how to feel safe.

It's not stuck that way forever, and it can learn again.

That's what building capacity actually means: learning about and working with how yours personally fluctuates instead of constantly fighting it so there's something left to rebuild from. 

When you stop overriding your nervous system consistently, and start working with its actual needs, rest starts actually doing something for you again instead of just pausing the exhaustion for a few hours.

 What gets rebuilt, and how much, looks different for everyone. We are on a spectrum after all.

The first shift is the same for almost everyone here: Releasing the shame about the capacity you actually have right now, not the capacity you think you should have. From there, people tend to go in two directions. Some find real capacity building back over time, and others find they're already at their ceiling and for the first time stop hating themselves for it. Both are what healing looks like and you don't have to know which one you are to start.

An important thing to note is that you're not trying to get back to the person you were before burnout or before your neurodivergence realization. That version of you is who burned out in the first place. Instead, this process is for learning to support the person you are now, whatever your capacity turns out to be.

Healing AuDHD burnout happens when you stop overriding your capacity and start working with it. This is what that actually feels like:
✓
You feel the shutdown coming before you're already 3 days into it. You catch the heaviness in your body, the irritability, and the way everything starts feeling louder than it "should," and you do something small about it before it becomes a week you have to recover from.
✓
You look at your week and you actually take something off of it. Not because you crashed and had no choice, but because you finally understood what saying "yes" to that thing was actually costing you.
✓
You stop collapsing into the couch for 6 hours and waking up feeling the same as before you sat down. You spend an evening actually doing nothing and you wake up the next morning with something in the tank. You've learned the difference between what numbs you and what actually restores you, and once you feel that difference in your body, you can't un-feel it.
✓
You feel that thing where your brain just won't stop and everything starts feeling like too much at once. Instead of riding that spiral all the way down, you do one small thing that interrupts it. You don't always catch it in time, but you catch it way more than you used to.
✓
You eat something before 2pm three days in a row and your afternoon is different. Not because you "fixed your relationship with food," but because you finally understand what your body is truly asking for instead of just overriding it until you're ravenous or completely checked out.
✓
You find something that moves your body without it feeling like the demand of "exercise." Afterward you have more energy than you started with. That has never happened before, and you didn't know it was supposed to work that way.
✓
You say "no" to something and the guilt shows up, loud and sticky like it always has been. But you acknowledge that guilt and sit with it instead of un-saying "no." Over time the guilt response is much milder and quieter. There are days you say "no" and feel almost nothing at all, and that surprises you every single time.
✓
You have a big week ahead and you plan for what comes after it before the crash arrives. It still comes sometimes, after all, we are still learning to listen to our patterns. But it doesn't take you all the way back to zero, and you stop being as blindsided and annoyed by it.
Why I built this

I didn't build this because I suddenly had it all figured out.

I built it because I was in it, and nothing like it seemed to exist yet.

In 2023 I was wedding dress shopping, taking time off from the immigration legal work that had been draining me, to do something that was supposed to feel really good. And then my boss emailed me something insanely rude on that day during those special errands.

I don't need to relive what the message said to tell you that I sat there, in what should have been one of the most exciting moments of my life, and felt something in me just collapse, honestly. 

I was already burnt out before that message arrived. The harassment just made it impossible to keep pretending I wasn't performing "okay-ness." 

I was also running my online fitness coaching business alongside that job, coaching other women, building out programs, showing up consistently (forcing myself to...), doing all the things. And I was burning through what little I had left doing it. 

By December of that year, I made the decision to step back from coaching entirely. A disappointing decision for me, but I just needed to stop.

That was the first time in my adult life that I chose myself over the performance of being okay.

This is exactly why I created...

A burnout recovery and capacity-building space for late-diagnosed AuDHD women, built to work with your fluctuating energy. Start with 4 months and continue as long as it's serving you.
"Super calming and reassuring."
"Can't fall behind." 

-- Charlie

Everything Inside SSBE
💌 Weekly Small Shift Email
Your anchor to the space. Every week you receive one short email focused on one phase of the Small Shifts Cycle. It shows up for you whether you've been active or quiet for weeks. No catching up ever required. It's just there when you're ready for it.

Organized around the four phases of the Small Shifts Cycle, built from real research inside AuDHD communities. Not invented from the outside and applied to us.
Phase 01 — Awareness / Noticing
Catch overload before it becomes a full crash.
  • Learn your personal early signs of overload
  • Catch overload signs earlier each time
  • Stop waiting until shutdown to respond
Phase 02 — Lower the Load (Reduce & Rest)
Reduce what you're carrying, one small thing at a time.
  • Identify the invisible load you've stopped noticing
  • Reduce input in small, specific ways that actually move the needle for you
  • Create the conditions your nervous system needs before rest and regulation can become more effective
  • Learn why rest hasn't been restoring you and what changes that
Phase 03 — Restore (Regulation, Nutrition, Movement)
Regulate, nourish, and move in ways that actually work for your nervous system.
  • Find regulation practices that actually work when your capacity is low and practices for different types of dysregulation
  • Learn to approach nourishment with simplicity and intuitively without diet culture values + eat in a way that satisfies and energizes
  • Discover movement practices that connect with your daily rhythm so it's not another item on your to-do list
Phase 04 — Protect and Pace
Build the rituals that protect your capacity before you need them.
  • Say no earlier and with less guilt
  • Pace your good days so they're still there tomorrow
  • Build recovery time in before you crash, not after
  • Notice when monitoring your energy has turned into a new way of pushing yourself too hard
Each phase has lessons, guides, and tools in both written and audio format. Here's a partial email from the 'Restore' phase that you'll receive in your inbox:

🆘 Low-Capacity Day Guides
This is the part of SSBE built for the days you have nothing left, not even the energy to figure out what you need. You don't search or scroll. You find the sentence that matches how you feel right now, and it takes you straight to the support built for that exact state. Everything after that is already mapped out for you.
Find where you are right now to check in with yourself in the app:
You feel off or on edge and don't know why
→ Something Feels Off Tool
Everything feels loud, bright, or irritating
→ Too Much, Too Little Guide
You feel frozen or overwhelmed
→ Low-Capacity Support Menu
You're exhausted but can't actually rest
→ Real Rest Menu
You feel shaky, crashy, or need fuel
→ Eat At Your Capacity Map
You want to move but don't want to overdo it
→ Move the Energy Map
You're leaking energy today
→ Lower the Load Tool
You're having a good day and don't want to overdo it
→ Don't Spend It All Tool
🤝 Private Community
A small, private space where you don't have to explain yourself or perform or mask in any way. There's no pressure to show up consistently, or at all. Lurk if you want to. Post when you're ready. Come back after going quiet without explanation. Nobody is keeping score.
🪴 Weekly Mentorship with Abbey
Every week I show up in the community to respond to questions, reflect back what I'm seeing, and offer direct support for what's coming up for you personally. You get my eyes on your experience regularly, the same quality of attention you'd get working with someone one on one, inside a space that costs a fraction of what that would.
📲 Everything in One Place
The whole space lives in the Kajabi app on your phone. Clearly organized so there's no hunting for tools when you're already dysregulated. Also accessible on tablet and computer.

SSBE isn't here so you can get back to the "old you." That version burnt you out. This is for finally learning how to support yourself as you actually are.

 

"Reading through the material made me feel so seen already and I haven't even said anything."

-- Allie

"Even in extreme burnout, I'm still getting value from the small shift emails each week."

-- Lis

Why SSBE?

1:1 support stops the moment you stop paying for it.

Inside SSBE I show up every single week in the community to read what's coming up for people and respond directly. But what makes this different from 1:1 support is that you're also learning from everyone else in the room. Even if you're lurking and never post a single thing, you're absorbing other people's patterns, their questions, and their moments of recognition. You're seeing yourself in experiences you haven't had language for yet.

Typical 1:1 mentorship
At $400 a month for typical 1:1 support, that is $4,800 a year, and the support is ongoing for as long as you keep paying for it. When you stop, you are usually back to finding the way on your own.
SSBE
Four months at $497 to start. That's about $4 per day. Four months of weekly support to get you started, built specifically for AuDHD burnout, with immediate access to the full library, private community, and weekly mentorship. Your access continues with your membership after the initial four months. Stay for a full year and the library is yours for life as it grows and evolves.
Laura's experience inside SSBE

Join Small Shifts, Big Energy

 Start with 4 months. See how it feels.

Your first 4 months include AuDHD-specific weekly Small Shift emails, library access, low-capacity day guides, private community, and weekly mentorship opportunities with Abbey.

SSBE runs a year, or six complete passes through the framework, and that's where the real compounding happens. But you don't have to decide that today. You just have to decide if 4 months feels worth trying (2 full passes through the Small Shifts Cycle).

pay in full

$497

Klarna and Afterpay are available at checkout to split the investment into smaller payments

join now

pay in two

$297

$297 today and $297 one month from today

join now

✓ Weekly Small Shift Emails - your anchor to the Cycle every week

✓ SSBE Resource Library - 40+ written and audio lessons, guides, and tools across all four phases

✓ Low-Capacity Day Guides - use-it-right-now support organized by how you're feeling in the moment

✓ Private community - come and go without explanation

✓ Weekly mentorship from Abbey in the community

✓ Accessible app - everything on your phone, tablet, or computer

✓ Access to the library + all future additions and updates as long as your membership in SSBE is active.

My Guarantee to You

Join and if within your first 14 days SSBE isn't the right fit, email me and I'll refund you in full.

Join Small Shifts, Big Energy
See the FAQ regarding Klarna and Afterpay.
"Everything feels optional and it actually means that."

-- Suki

SSBE is for you if... 
  • You've done a lot of personal development and you're exhausted by it
  • You understand your nervous system to some degree and still can't get your body to settle when you need to
  • You can't always tell the difference between being lazy and actually having low capacity
  • Everything is a battle lately, like showering, decisions, and starting anything
  • Your capacity is in the basement, and you're done pretending collecting more information will change that
  • You want support that feels accessible and works on your worst days, not just your best ones
  • You're tired of blaming yourself for patterns that were never about discipline

This isn't for you if...

  • You're looking for a quick fix or a short reset
  • You want rigid structure with daily tasks and a clear finish line
  • You want accountability check-ins and someone tracking your progress
  • You're not ready to explore your neurodivergence further
  • You need general mental health support

Frequently Asked Questions

The fear of it not working is not the same as it not working.

And the version of you that's been reading this and is still here is not someone who is going to let something that might actually help just pass by without at least giving it a try.

You already know what staying in the same cycle costs you.  🩷   SSBE is the map you should've had years ago.

pay in full

$497

join now

2 payments

$297

join now

Questions before signing up? Email strongwithabbey@gmail.com and I'll get back to you.

The Small Shifts Cycle

A cyclical process because healing AuDHD burnout isn't linear...

Understanding and healing AuDHD burnout isn't linear, so the process isn't either. Your weekly email moves through four "phases" repeatedly, one small shift at a time. Each time you return to a phase it meets you where you are right now, not where you were last time. There's no starting over or falling behind. You just pick up wherever you are.

This is what that looks like in your daily life:

You have a hard week. You go quiet and stop opening Small Shift emails.

Then one day you come back, and instead of starting over at square one, you open the library and find exactly what you need for where you are right now. You pick back up mid-cycle without guilt. The cycle already knows you were going to go hermit-mode for a bit. It was built for that.

Each time you move through this process, you catch things a little earlier, and you recognize the signs before the crash, not after, and you know exactly what small action to take instead of freezing up or pushing through things again.

I'm ready to join SSBE